Bringing In Good Luck

Today was Setsubun and so I bought roasted soybeans and maki-zushi (sushi roll). I bought one maki-zushi for the kids and I to share and one for Hubs to eat later. The one we shared had egg, crab, spinach and salmon in it. Unfortunately, I forgot to check and got the one with wasabi in it. A little spicy, but tasty nonetheless.

Sophie in the oni (demon) mask that Bailey made at preschool.

And Bailey in the same mask with the box of roasted soybeans and the two sushi rolls in front of him.

Straight Up, What Did You Hope To Learn About Here?

(Anybody know what song that is from?)

I was studying today at the food court, listening to my I-pod, sipping ginger ale and working on my second donut when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I looked up to see an older Japanese woman smiling, so I took out my earphones and smiled back. Turns out that she just wanted me to move my chair so she could push her cart through, but she returned a little later with a cup of steaming hot coffee and sat down opposite me.

In December, I will be taking the Japanese language proficiency test and I really haven't studied as much as I should; so while I like to talk and be friendly just a s much as the next person, I kept my eyes glued to my book and my earphones in. She scooted her chair around so that she was sitting beside me and started rummaging through my papers and dictionary.

I guess I should have gone to the library if I really wanted to study. I took off my earphones. She just wanted to talk, she just wanted me to listen and so I sat there for a good twenty minutes just listening and nodding and saying uh-huh and oh really? until she became quiet. Then she started in with the questions: Where are you from? How long have you lived here? Can you use chopsticks? Do you like sushi? What is your impression of Japan? and the like. I answered as best I could and I guess it satisfied her curiosity well enough. She finished up the last sip of coffee and stood up. We said our good byes. I went back to studying and she went back to shopping.

All that to say, you will never know the answer until you ask the question, so please ask away in the comments. I am kinda running low on creativity and writer's block has gotten the best of me more times than I care to remember these last few weeks, so you ask, I will answer.

A-ensoku-ing We Will Go

You look left there's a group of them being led by an older student. You look right there's another group lined up wearing the same color hat. This can only mean one thing it is field trip (ensoku) season in Japan.

Sophie had hers today- a trip to the farm to dig up sweet potatoes. The note from the teacher said that eating a freshly baked sweet potato was Sophie's favorite part of the trip. That's my girl!!

Bailey is off to the local zoo tomorrow and he is excited as can be. We have to leave earlier than usual tomorrow morning and so I was trying to get a few extra things checked off my list before I gave the kids a bath. Bailey had the what-to-bring list memorized and he stood beside me saying check as I put it all out on the table. A plastic bag for garbage? Check. A wet towel for cleaning up after lunch? Check. A picnic sheet for eating lunch on? Check. One by one they went into his Thomas (of course) backpack. I don't know if he is more excited about seeing all the animals or just getting to be out with all his friends. Whatever the reason, it got him into a bed in record time tonight.

I know that a trip to dig up sweet potatoes and going to the zoo are fairly common field trips -anyone else have a field trip story to share??

Like A Ninja, It Appears Outta Nowhere Sometimes

I had to turn down the TV to hear it. Just the slightest noise and then a gasp and there was no doubt it was crying. At first, I thought it was Sophie. Just give her a minute, I thought, she will find her handkerchief (her lovey) and settle back down. It continued and so I flicked off the TV and turned on the hallway light so I could find said handkerchief and maybe rub her tummy a few times.

When I opened the door, a little voice, trembling, said, "Mommy, the ninjas are here. Be careful."

And, then, the story tumbled out as he rubbed his nose on the front of my shirt and rubbed my ear (his lovey). Some of the older kids at pre-school were playing ninja today and it scared Bailey. (Funny the way culture smacks you in the face sometimes. They were playing ninja much like I used to play cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians.) He asked me to stay with him, something he hasn't done in a long time.

Sometimes, little things like that remind me that I am raising kids from two different cultures. Two different languages. Two different worlds. I just hope I am doing alright.

Just Wondering......

OK, foreign moms, I just finished watching the TV show My Wife Is A Foreigner and as usual, they gave the featured guest money for a party featuring foods from the wife's home country. Tonight the wife was from the States and she made green beans, pork chops and apple sauce. That got me to thinking, what I would make if I was on the show.

I think I would make some fried chicken, mashed potatoes, broccoli and cheese and for dessert some kind of cobbler, ohhh, peach cobbler sounds really, really good right now.

So, now, foreign moms it is your turn. What would you make if you appeared on the TV show?

(PS- I added a pic of the special shoe soap that I used to my previous post about indoor shoes. Scroll on down if yo are interested.)

A Wedding Story- Japan Style

We attended a friend's wedding on Saturday. Hubs took all the pictures that you see here and we both agreed that this was by far the best shot of the day. The just look so happy and with all the flower petals and feathers suspended in mid-air around them it just captures the beauty of the day so well.

The cake (a strawberry shortcake one to be exact) with the bride and groom figurines, two small replicas of their cars (they are both car freaks) and the symbol of the company they work for which is also the place that they first met.

This wedding and reception had a lot of "western" touches to it. What I mean by that is things that you usually don't see here in Japan. For example, after they cute the cake they fed it to each other (with spoons) and they threw the bouquet (which happened right before we all went into the reception rather than at the end). The groom joined in the fun too throwing his boutonniere rather than a garter.

The band that performed at the reception and these people weren't just regular old run of the mill wedding singers, they are pretty famous (at least here in our neck of the woods). They were preforming a "special live" with a real, live, honest to goodness TV crew filming it to be broadcast sometime this week on Chiba TV. The band's name is Echiura and with this song they made a fan out of me!!

The bride reading the letter that she wrote to her father (usually it is written to both parents, but her mother wasn't there not sure if she passed away or if her parent's divorced or what). It was a sweet letter thanking him for all that he had done for her growing up and telling him not to worry about her because she was happy and in love.

They called this the balloon send off. They gave us balloons that were weighted with small balloons filled with sand and on the count of three everybody threw them into the pool. Along with the balloons two guys fell in the pool as well. I think that they had had a little too much to drink.

The receiving line where the bride and groom thanked all the guests after the reception. Each guest received flowers and a small present.

Taken at the after party. Hubs stayed for it, but I headed home to get the kids dinner, bathed and in bed. All in all a great day and a beautiful wedding.

Keepsakes

Sophie, a portrait by brother Bailey.
We finally got the calligraphy brush that we had made for Sophie's hair. They said it would take about 6 to 8 weeks, but it actually ended up taking three months. Oh well, we got it and it is fine so really no complaints here. This is the hair from Sophie's first haircut and while we didn't have one made for Bailey, I do have a lock of hair from his first haircut kept in a circle box engraved with his name and birth date.

I also have a piece of Sophie's umbilical cord but since Bailey was born in the States and that option was not available, he missed out on that one too. Just wondering, foreign moms, if your child(ren) were born in Japan did you keep the umbilical cord? How about making the calligraphy brush from the fist hair cut? Any other keepsakes that you have of your children?

Envelopes, please!!

"Did you get the envelopes," my husband asked me first thing yesterday morning.

"There are on the table," I answered trying to decide between a yakisoba (fried buckwheat noodles) or pasta for Bailey's lunch.

"How many did you get?"

"Four- one for the wedding on Saturday, one for the wake tonight, one for your friend's new baby and one for our niece starting elementary school," I replied, choosing to go with a yakisoba and Japanese style fried chicken lunch.

"All right," Hubs shuffled them in his hands, "That ought to hold us for a while."

*****
By far, money is the most popular gift in Japan. Like I mentioned above, money is given for weddings, the birth of a new baby, for starting school and even at funerals.

Our BIL's grandmother died this week and Hubs went to the wake last night while I stayed at home with a sick Sophie and tired Bailey. He took the envelope with the black decorations on the front and returned with a box of tea leaves and sake as his return gift. The funeral home also provided everyone with a small package of salt that you are supposed to through on yourself to cleanse your body.

On Saturday, we will take another, fancier envelope to a wedding and will get some type of return gift there as well. For our wedding reception here in Japan it was two large spaghetti/ curry bowls, two kinds of pasta and tea and sugar. I'll let you know what we get on Saturday.

I can't resist baby clothes or toys, so in addition to the money for our friend's new baby girl, I got her a small wrist rattle. It will go into the mail this weekend.

The money that goes into these envelopes must be new money; not creased or worn-looking. There is also etiquette involving the way the money is placed in the envelope and the amount. Hubs even has an etiquette book that he got to help him keep it all straight. If he can't keep it straight, is there any hope for me???

Soap Suds

I washed dishes and didn't bother to wash out the sink when I was done. Little clusters of bubbles slid down the sides of the sink and collected near the drain. It would have taken one blast from the tap to send them all down the drain, but I left them there.

When the house is this quiet, you start thinking and your thoughts like so many bubbles collect and you keep waiting for the blast from the tap to send it all away, but it never comes.

I started this post yesterday and I had absolutely, positively no idea where it was going. I think that it all comes from the fact that I am feeling pretty overwhelmed right now. Nothing serious, just a whole lot of little, everyday things that seem to be rubbing me the wrong way.

The biggest cause of this is my husband's work schedule. One day last month, he came home around 9:00 and said, "Wow, it is good to be home early!" If he thinks 9:00 is early, you can imagine what late is.

I know, I know his job is the reason that I can stay at home with the kids and the reason that we don't have to worry much financially. Just sometimes I would like a better balance. We have talked about it (actually, it seems that it is pretty much all we talk about) and he says there is nothing he can do, that that is just how it is in Japan for a "salary man" and the sooner we can save enough money and get out of Japan the better.

So, my question, for all of you foreign wives living in Japan, how is it for you? How do you deal with it?

Feutare, No Wait That Should Be Future

As I mentioned before, there has been talk of packing up the family and moving to the States. There are a lot of stumbling blocks in our way, not to mention my lack of knowledge of most things American. The lines have been blurred and I am not sure if I can go back. Take for example:

*In the US, you order a Big Mac meal but here we order a Big Mac set. I have made the set mistake one two many times in the States.

*I have the tendency to put native speakers to sleep with my slow speech and careful annunciation. Blame years of teaching English to non-native speakers.

*Word- simple, English words- escape me sometimes. Vacuum- who forgets a word like vacuum?

*Hubs is always half-joking that he needs to buy me some books so I can study English.

*My conversational abilities in Japanese and English are the same- basic conversations I can handle, but throw in a few big words and you lose me.

My list could go on and on, but my brain hurts from all this English (said tongue-in-cheek of course. The real reason is is that it is almost time for another episode of Felicity.)

Breathing Easy

Bailey's in the bedroom taking a nap.

Sophie fell asleep in the living room while I was attempting to change her diaper.

Hubs is on his way to pick up his grandmother from the nursing home so she can spend new years at her daughter's (MIL's) house.

I just finished cleaning the kitchen and am getting ready to enjoy a cup of hot chocolate.

On the last day of the year, life seems to have slowed down a little. Our little family is just enjoying relaxing and having fun together. I don't think any of us will make it until midnight tonight. Heck, I personally, don't think I could make it past 10:00. But that just means I will be better rested than all the rest of the folks vying for the best fukubukuro bright and early tomorrow morning. No telling what goodies I might get! Stay tuned......

One Step At A Time

The Facts:
I am American- always have been, always will be.
I have been living in Japan for almost eight years and I pretty much know what is expected of me.
My MIL was born to Korean parents but has lived her entire life in Japan. Although she just recently acquired Japanese citizenship, she is and always has been Japanese.
In Japan, it is considered rude to not give a return gift. This means that if I give a present to A, then A has to give a gift in return.

Having said all of that, MIL has agreed to let me give my niece and nephews presents this year. When I first met my MIL, I believed that we could somehow find a common ground seeing as we are both considered foreigners, but that was not to be. The difference is I was born and grew up in a foreign country while she was born and grew up here.

I am sure that I will get an earful when we meet at her house to exchange presents. My only wish for this Christmas is that somehow, someway we can bend instead of break. Life is too short and too precious to be spent angry and resentful.

A new year, a new start is waiting just around the corner.

Update

I can hear them talking from where I sit in the computer room.

It is not going well. Mother and son hashing it out for almost an hour now.

Guilt falls and settles around me. How could something meant to be good turn out so bad?

It Goes Deeper Than The Gifts

The conversation went something like this:

MIL: I don't think you should buy presents for your nephews and niece for Christmas this year.
Me: Oh, I already bought some things.....
MIL: Why? Now your sisters-in-law are going to have to spend more money on YOUR kids.
Me: They don't have to. I don't expect a return gift. This is something I want to do for the kids for Christmas. Christmas is important to me .
MIL: Think about your Sisters-in-law. Maybe they don't have money to spend.
Me: I understand. I have presents for Bailey and Sophie, too. Can't we just tell the kids they are from Santa?
MIL: You know, New Years is more important HERE.
Me: I do. I am sorry.

I feel.... angry but mostly hurt and I have no idea what to do next. I can't return the presents without a receipt and since I bought them back in October, the receipts are long gone. Why does everything have to turn into a battlefield?

I compromise on lots of things. I am not trying to be rigid or stuck in my ways. it is just that when you are far from home sometimes you hold on to things tighter. Christmas is one of those things for me.

Guess tomorrow I will find myself again back at Mister Donuts, trying to sort this all out.

Now I Have Heard Of Everything!

The initialism is RHS? Think it is a high school? Think again! Maybe a virus? Not quite. Here I will give you a hint.

"When I thought about my husband being at home, I developed rashes on my
body and had a stomachache. On occasion I would throw up after
eating. Sometimes just being in the same room as him made me physically
sick." --TakakoTerakawa

Still not sure? You can find the answer here.

I Don't Give A Squat (Unless I Really Have To)

Usually, I don't mind. Really, I don't. Japanese toilets are good for a quick in and out. You get in, you get done and then you get out. Today, however I wanted to stay a little longer (if you know what I mean) but fate conspired against me.

The store was crowded. No surprise there it was after all Saturday and the time of year people start thinking about Christmas gifts. I tried the bathroom on the first floor, the line was not so long and moving rather quickly, so I decided to wait.

Four western-style toilets and one Japanese-style toilet. And the westerner gets- a squatter.

Quick in and quick out to find another restroom.

The second floor was much the same, except there were five western- style toilets and one Japanese-style. Taking my chances, I rolled the dice and got, you guessed it, another Japanese-style one.

Then it was the third floor and it was now or never. Five western-style toilets, one Japanese toilet.

I opened the stall door and ole squatty smiled back at me.

Squatty one, Trisha zero. Oh, but I will be back...... just as soon as I get this cramp out of my foot!!

A Halloween Tale

"Unless there is a fever, you can send him to day care. Please take care of yourselves."

Those were the last words from the doctor yesterday. Since Bailey's fever had come and gone and Sophie's had broken late yesterday and I never had one to begin with, we headed over to the day care for a little Halloween fun.

There was game playing and jack-o-lantern making, song singing and trick-or-treating. The kids were adorable. The teachers were friendly. I had a good time. It was a nice once in a while kinda thing to do. Let me say that again- ONCE IN A WHILE.

I had a sneaking suspisicion that he would be there, but I decided just to focus on the kids and forget about everybody else in the room. I avoided him afterwards, throwing my things carelessly into a bag and running across the street to pick up Sophie.

I thought I had made it. I was wrong.

He was waiting at the entrance of our building.

No introductions, just out with it. "Teach for our school. Even if it is only thirty minutes, once a week."

I mumbled something about needing to talk it over with my husband and left him standing there. (Thanks Sophie for picking that exact moment to start crying!)

I love working with the kids. I get along with the teachers. But. . . . . but, there is just something about the way the head of the school approached me that casted a dark shadow over the whole thing. First impressions are hard to shake.

Turn Down The Volume, Please!!

Oh my!

Tuesday, I headed out to take Bailey to school and then stopped off for my usual cuppa and a niku-man (or two cause they really are that good) and decided to check out a little shop that sells herbal teas and other good for you stuff.

Chamomile tea. Really, that is all I wanted. What I ended up with was a red face, a baby crying hysterically and a box of fennel tea.

I will just say this- I am a foreigner but that doesn't mean that I am hearing impaired. No need, little miss shop owner, to shout thereby attracting people like flies to rotting meat, startling Sophie and making her wail and turning my face the deepest, darkest shade of purple red with just a hint of blue around the edges.

I grabbed for what I thought was chamomile tea, paid and got the heck outta there.

Turns out it was fennel tea.

Don't be surprised if it turns up in somebody's Christmas package.

The Snowball Effect

First I agreed to do a Halloween party for Bailey's day care.

Then, they asked me if I would mind moving the party to another daycare nearby so more kids could participate.

Now, the head of the school would like all six area day cares to be included.

From 15 kids to 30 kids to 80 kids!!!

Yikes! I didn't even know it was snowing!

Finding Acceptance

"You have an American face, but a Japanese heart," My MIL said to me as we prepared dinner together, "Many people will never see beyond the face. Show them your heart and they will understand. We are the same."

Kinder words have never been spoken.

My MIL is a foreigner herself. Her parents, both Korean, were forced to come to Japan to work. Japan is all that she knows. The Korean part of her lives on in only a few simple phrases and recipes. FIL's parents hated the idea of their son marrying a foreigner, but they married anyway.

Strange, then, that MIL objected to her son marrying an American.

Our relationship hasn't always been an easy one. There were mountains of cultural differences to climb and the great divide of language, but I listened and watched and learned. Slowly, I gained her respect and she gained mine.

Her words marked a turning point. A sign of better things to come. A sign of hope. A sign of acceptance.