"You have an American face, but a Japanese heart," My MIL said to me as we prepared dinner together, "Many people will never see beyond the face. Show them your heart and they will understand. We are the same."
Kinder words have never been spoken.
My MIL is a foreigner herself. Her parents, both Korean, were forced to come to Japan to work. Japan is all that she knows. The Korean part of her lives on in only a few simple phrases and recipes. FIL's parents hated the idea of their son marrying a foreigner, but they married anyway.
Strange, then, that MIL objected to her son marrying an American.
Our relationship hasn't always been an easy one. There were mountains of cultural differences to climb and the great divide of language, but I listened and watched and learned. Slowly, I gained her respect and she gained mine.
Her words marked a turning point. A sign of better things to come. A sign of hope. A sign of acceptance.
6 comments:
I am married to a man that comes from a father that is Japanese. His Grandmother was devastated when her son chose to marry a "white" girl! She did not peak to either one of them until my husband was born ... she said he was so beautiful ... My husband's Dad was less than thrilled at first about me .... funny how it all comes full circle.
great post Trisha!!
(((hugs)))
Trisha, Regardless of cultural and ethnic differences, we all have to earn that special respect we so crave from our MIL. Now, the shoe is on the other foot and I have a DIL and wow, all I want is for my wonderful son to be happy and if she makes him happy, that's all I need. :) Great post!
My heart smiles with yours. Many times reading your post I am struck how akward it must be, challanging and just plain HARD sometimes to be in your situation. Not to mention you must stick out like a sore thumb All.The.Time! I guess there is not "blending in" for you, eh?
But the "Friendship" post adn this one is hopeful, and here's to the blending of cultures!
that is incredible ... yes ... a huge turning point ... earned through perseverance over time ... good for you ... reveals great wisdom :)
Gosh, I finally found a blog that really truly understands me. I am Chinese and married to a Japanese first born son. Oh my gosh, the trial and tribulations I have gone through with my MIL. I have been alone in how I have been feeling and now I am reading about you and your MIL.
Thank you for your honesty.
Sherrie in So. California
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