Friday, December 15, 2006

It Goes Deeper Than The Gifts

The conversation went something like this:

MIL: I don't think you should buy presents for your nephews and niece for Christmas this year.
Me: Oh, I already bought some things.....
MIL: Why? Now your sisters-in-law are going to have to spend more money on YOUR kids.
Me: They don't have to. I don't expect a return gift. This is something I want to do for the kids for Christmas. Christmas is important to me .
MIL: Think about your Sisters-in-law. Maybe they don't have money to spend.
Me: I understand. I have presents for Bailey and Sophie, too. Can't we just tell the kids they are from Santa?
MIL: You know, New Years is more important HERE.
Me: I do. I am sorry.

I feel.... angry but mostly hurt and I have no idea what to do next. I can't return the presents without a receipt and since I bought them back in October, the receipts are long gone. Why does everything have to turn into a battlefield?

I compromise on lots of things. I am not trying to be rigid or stuck in my ways. it is just that when you are far from home sometimes you hold on to things tighter. Christmas is one of those things for me.

Guess tomorrow I will find myself again back at Mister Donuts, trying to sort this all out.


chelle said...

awww Hugs I can only imagine how that feels.

Vicky said...

Just ignore her and do what YOU want. In this case you are doing a kind thing that will make your neices and nephews happy and she doesn't need to interfere in that. If the SILs don't like it they can tell you themselves. If you don't give the presents it may well end up as a case of "Dammned if you do, dammned if you don't" as then the SILs might wonder what pissed you off enough not to bother with their kids this year. Just hand over the presents with a smile and an assurance that really they DON'T need to do okaeshi.

And if your MIL is anything like mine, she might not even really mean what she said - my own MIL doesn't actually think she is criticising me, more educating the ingnorant daughter in law, and she comes out with a constant stream of utter nonsense about what I should be doing and how I should be raising my kids. I just smile and agree, and do my own thing. And never, never, NEVER apologise!

You have now heard her comments and told her by your apology that you listened and took them on board. Now go and hand the presents over and forget about her! (Right, like you can... but you know what I mean.)

Hugs to you - it hard at this season, isn't it. In some ways this is one of the loneliest times of the year for me, and I am sure you feel the same way. (Hug!)

Tammy said...

Bless your heart!!
Praying this woman gets a heathy dose of Christmas Spirit...or an elf kicks her in the shins...

Sue said...

I'm laughing at Tammy! I don't suppose you could just pretend the conversation never took place and just give the kids the gifts??

Pamela said...

Perhaps your MIL is simply voicing her concerns out loud. I would most definitely give the children your gifts and let them know they are from you! Give you MIL a big hug and thank her for thinking of everyone but you love giving and don't expect anything in return. If that doesn't work have one of Tammy's elves kick her in the shin! lol

Give and thou shalt receive! :)

Jessica said...

My prayers are with you!