A high fever (103).
No cough. No runny nose. No red throat. At least, nothing we can see from the outside.
You have been here for three days and it is time for you to be moving on and give us back our happy, smiling girl.
And, just in case you were thinking it, moving on to another person in this family DOES NOT COUNT!! Of course, you were never one to play by the rules, so bring me down if you must, but leave the kids out of it.
Thank you kindly.