This Is Where I Belong

Wow, what is this extreme lightness, this need to smile at everyone, the ability to relax and live in the moment, enjoying my family instead of thinking about what I have to do next, sunshine even though it has been raining for almost three days straight, genuine, honest to goodness happiness. It snuck up on me and I didn't even notice it. Grabbed me from behind and twirled me around until I was dizzy drunk.

There is nothing special about today. I did everything pretty much like I always do, but with a smile, humming a song and without feeling sorry for myself. I got the dishes and laundry done in record time and just sitting there watching Bailey play I joined in without him having to ask. I followed his lead instead of telling him what we should play. I found myself rolling around on the floor, dancing around the room and balling up newspaper to throw at each other. And in the midst of it all, I felt like this was where I belonged.

This afternoon I held Sophie after feeding her instead of depositing her on the floor and rushing to do that thing that had to be done right away and had a great "conversation" with that squealing, happy girl. Again I let her lead and tried to repeat what she said to me and in the midst of it all, I felt like this was where I belonged.

I remember my own mom saying, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." and I now realize the truth behind this statement. My kids, my husband all pick up on my mood and act accordingly. These last few days I have tried to be mindful of that and be as positive and upbeat as possible. My kids must have noticed it because they are both sleeping better, Bailey is doing his part by cleaning up without being told and being more agreeable, Sophie is crying less and smiling more. There are more kisses and smiles from Hubs as well. All of this, in turn makes me happier and able to forge ahead. And in the midst of it all, I feel this is where I belong.