Wednesday, April 18, 2012


I understand how some people can just dismiss ADHD as bad parenting.  But, what they don't understand is the difference between won't and can't.  ADHD makes a lot of can'ts.  Can't keep your hands from drumming on the desk even though the teacher has warned you about it many, many times.  Can't stop yourself from hitting even though you will get punished for it.  Can't stop your mind from jumping to subject to subject even if it means you miss important information. 

All of the can'ts make relationships pretty hard.  Add to that a pretty heavy helping of low self confidence and it can make the smallest of tasks seem like climbing Mount Everest.  And, Bailey has to do that every single day just to do normal day to day things.  No wonder he collapses into bed every night, asleep almost before his head hits the pillow.

As much as I struggle with Bailey's ADHD, I know that he struggles ten times harder.  Sometimes I wish ADHD was an illness that you could see like  a scratched up knee.  Then, it would be easy to tell whether the medicine was working or a new strategy is needed.  Wash it off, add a little antibacterial spray and a band aid and wait.  Simple.  (Yes, I realize this is an extreme overgeneralization.)  With ADHD things are far from simple and I am just beginning to understand how complicated it really is.


Gina said...

I have been wondering how things were going about this.

I have no words of wisdom regarding this. Just want to say I'm here for you.

I can understand though how tough this is for Bailey and for you too. I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

I'm a long time lurker. I've always enjoyed hearing about your family's activities. With Bailey, you may have already thought of this etc. but I belong to a parent's organization for learning disabilities. They usually have monthly meetings with parents (so usually just a place to share concerns etc), and some monthly kids activities. There is a group in Chiba also (from the website it says that they have 5 sub groups in different places). It may not be a good fit, since there is usually a wide range of kids with parents attending. Some kids are learning disabed, some within the Autistic Specturm Disorder etc. and a few that only have ADHD. Everyone is a volunteer. The parents group has pushed for reforms in schools, and I think that this is one reason that the law was passed in 2009 to provide more support in schools, for kids with mild disabilities. Please let me know if I can give you more feedback. I know that the beginning of the school year is always the hardest, especially if you've changed teachers etc.
Nancy Tsurumaki