"Come on, Bailey, let's go," I said waving good bye to his day care mates and the teachers.
"Mommy, no English, please. My ears hurt," came Bailey's reply like a thousand needles right to my heart.
I can understand how he feels. He wants to fit in. He wants to have friends. He wants to play and have fun. These are all great, wonderful things. I just don't want him to forget the "English side" of him too.
When he first started going to daycare, one of the teachers pulled me aside and said, "Do you always speak English to Bailey?"
"Yes, I guess so," was my reply.
"That's not really a good idea," she shook her head, "He needs Japanese more than English."
At that exact moment it occurred to me that cultural sensitivity wasn't part of her training. It mad me mad to hear, but more than that it made me sad. As the saying in Japan goes, the nail that sticks up gets hammered down.
It is hard to maintain your own cultural identity when you live in a foreign country. As hard as I try to pass on traditions like trick or treating, Easter egg hunts, the real meaning of Christmas, it all just seems to get swallowed up and mutated to the Japanese way. This is something I have never gotten used to.
I have never gotten used to the idea of Christmas being solely about presents. I have never gotten used to the idea of such a strong group mentality. I have never gotten used to being criticized for doing it the "American way".
I am sad but I am soldiering on with plans for a Halloween party for Bailey's day care- the "American way" with bobbing for apples and treat bags and costumes. Hopefully, someday English won't hurt Bailey's ears as much and he will be proud of the fact that he is unique. Someday my caterpillar will emerge from his cocoon a beautiful, multicolored butterfly.
6 comments:
I think it's wonderful that you are teaching Bailey to be bilingual.
The Halloween party sounds fun. Maybe you can start a little tradition there!
I just cannot imagine what you are going through...
(((hugs)))
Trisha, one of my Sister-in-law's on my hubby's side is from Singapore. Her little boy, my nephew, Wilson is three years old. She has decided not to teach him Chineese for fear of isolating him. I think this is so sad. All of my study's show that a child thinks in his native language and communicates in his secondary languages. Your child will put everything in the proper perspective. Is this the same lady that was so unhelpful with potty training? You are great parents! Do what you feel is best. :)
Oh my goodness he is too sweet. Bless his heart. No more english. My ears hurt. I wonder if his teacher put that in his mind. Hmmmm...makes you wonder.
I've never gotten used to the idea of christmas being all about the presents. That's not what christmas should be about. Oh well...
(((hugs))) hope things are better real soon.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Maybe some other kids make fun of Bailey, and he's embarrassed.
It's little excess, but we don't have to listen to a person who doesn't know out situation.
If it's very painfull to communicate with those people, we can leave. The choice is ours, not them.
Maybe it's very hard to stop the kids to make fun of Bailey's English, but we still can teach English to Bailey, and try not to be embarrassed.
I think we gotta be tough, and I think we can do it.
Let's just stick together, and work as a team.
Love Daddy
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