Play-Do Meets Moon Sand

Thursday, July 16, 2009@ 10:53 AM

A yummy ice cream cone made of. . . .
play-do and moon sand. A little messy, but so much fun!!

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So Proud. . . .

Bailey's picture of a flower.

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From A Box

Tuesday, July 14, 2009@ 11:43 AM

Mixing up a box of Barefoot Contessa brownies. . . . . .
Sophie goes in for a taste, and. . . . .

declares them yummy!


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We Made It

Monday, July 13, 2009@ 11:01 AM






















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Itty Bitty

Friday, July 03, 2009@ 3:43 PM

This picture was actually taken back when Mom was here. Sophie got her cast taken off a little over a month ago and of course, we had to have cake to celebrate. The doctor suggested that she do physical therapy for a while and she just finally finished up her three time a week visits this week. I think that we are all glad to be done with that! The therapists were really nice and did a good job working with someone as young as Sophie, but we were all getting tired of rushing off to physical therapy right after pre school let out.


Tonight, Bailey will be spending the night at pre school. They are going to make curry together, do lots of fun games, play in the pool if the weather is ok and the teachers are even going to put on a fireworks display. Bailey has been looking forward to this for weeks. On a side note, Bailey has his first loose tooth. if memory serves me right, it also happens to be the first tooth he got as a baby. It is pretty wobbly and he asked me to cut his corn off the cob last night because it hurt to bite down on, so I think it will be out pretty soon. He wants it to stay in until we get to America because he is convinced the tooth fairy can't possibly fly all the way to Japan.
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We are going to be heading back to the States on Sunday and staying there for almost two months. I am trying to pack all of our stuff in just one suitcase (ha!) since it will just be me and two tired kids going through baggage claim and immigration before dashing to make our connection. America, here we come!


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In Pieces Part Two

Monday, June 22, 2009@ 7:52 PM

The wind was blowing the rain sideways, so I stayed on the porch while Hubs brought the car around. It was like any other lazy Sunday spent at the parents-in-law's house talking and eating and watching the kids play. My sister-in-law (Hub's older sister) was cleaning out the front seat of her car and when she saw me she stopped and came over to talk.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

"I guess I am doing alright," came the automatic response.

"I want to show you something," she said reaching into her apron pocket. Showing the picture to me, she continued, "I was supposed to have a third child, too, but for some reason I lost the baby."

My eyes focused on the ultrasound photo, framed.

"You are the only person, except my husband that knows. Cry as much as you need to. Lean on those that love you as much as you need to," she said, her eyes brimming with tears, "It's been more than seven years since I lost the baby, but not a day goes by that I don't think about it."

Lost for words, I just starred at the picture.

"You'll be okay, but you will never be the same," she said and the honesty of her words, suddenly made me look away.

"One day at a time, that's the best you can do."

And, then Hubs was there with the car and it was time to go on with life.

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Parkin' It











We headed out a couple weekends ago to a newly opened park and let the kids run around until Sophie declared herself completely famished and unable to move another step. Don't worry though, after lunch and a nap she was ready to play again.




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In Pieces Part One

Thursday, June 18, 2009@ 12:53 PM

*At the beginning of March, Sophie and I had colds that just wouldn't stop so we went to the doctor to get medicine. Before writing out my prescription, the doctor paused and asked me something he had never asked me before, "You aren't pregnant, are you?" I answered no, but a few days later when I still hadn't gotten my period, a little stick would prove me wrong. I stopped taking the cold medicine.

*This pregnancy was far from planned. We had kicked around the idea of another baby once Sophie was in pre-school, but never really settled one way or another. I told Hubs that I was pregnant on White Day (March 14th). We both admitted that we would like another girl and I went to bed that night, happy and dreaming of tiny socks and gummy baby smiles.

*This pregnancy would be my last, I decided. Three kids. A family of five. Just like my family. Just like Hub's family. I would slow down and really enjoy this pregnancy. Savor it. I wanted the baby to be named after my older sister who passed away a little over a year before. I wanted to honor her, to let her know that she would never be forgotten. I felt like it was all coming full circle.

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In Pieces

I always carry a little notebook in my purse. To jot down appointments, for grocery lists and menu plans, to help occupy the kids with a game of tic-tac-toe while we wait for the doctor or the bus. But, lately, that little notebook has become something else. A place to go when I feel overwhelmed or sad or just simply, don't know what to do. As you can probably guess, most of those feelings are centered around my miscarriage.

I could keep all of those feelings hidden away in that little notebook, tucked away in the darkness of my purse, but I want to share them here. I want to do this not for sympathy, but for healing.

Most of it will be disjointed, little snippets of the time before, during and after the miscarriage. Feel free to read or not, to comment or not.

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I Found Your Picture Today

Thursday, June 11, 2009@ 8:52 PM

Today, while straightening a few things around the apartment, I found a few ultrasound pictures. I remember marvelling over them with Hubs and the kids, noticing the little changes from one picture to the next. And, then, there was the final one, the one taken on the same day we scheduled the surgery. Even then, it still looked like a normal, developing baby- except for the heart that stopped beating, there was nothing to point to, to say this went wrong or that hadn't developed properly.

That same day the last ultrasound was taken, the doctor said that, if we wanted, we could find out through a series of tests,why I had miscarried. I immediately turned to my husband and shook my head no. I didn't want to know the reason. The reason didn't change the fact that our baby was gone. The how of it, I thought, would do nothing to ease the pain.

Almost a month later and it still hurts. It hurts to see a pregnant woman. It hurts to see that pregnancy magazine that I bought when I first found out I was pregnant. It hurts when well meaning friends glaze over the whole thing instead of asking how I am doing. It hurts to talk about it, but it hurts even more to try to brush it under the rug. I can't forget. I don't want to forget.

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